Failed reflexes & dead fish

OK this first..I meant to post it in Toronto...the last night I was there I visited Keith & Richard one last time, I found this note on Richards' desk, written in the best drunk scrawl EVER:


"Bjork and Primes should do a song together because there weird it would be like 'i am bjork not on the beat' with him and he'd be all "purple rain".


I laughed and laughed...and no, it doesn't really make much sense. But funny, holy shit funny.

Anyways.

I'm back.
I'm tiiiiiiiired.

Vancouver in a nutshell: fun.

I got there last sunday and went to meet Leah...we hung for a bit then met some friends and went for Sushi at my favorite Japanese restaurant on EARTH, Samurai. I ate myself dizzy. I won't bother you with the details of rainy days, long bus rides , endless eating, cheap pitchers, old friends reuniting...but I have 2 unrelated stories for you:

This first one might sound familiar...but the ending is fucked, so hold tight.

So yesterday (Tuesday) we're walking down Smithe Street in downtown Vancouver, and I'm just looking ahead about a block and I see this guy trip and fall on the street, in the crosswalk, but in front of car which was stopped at a light. I laughed to myself, as we cruel cruel humans tend to do...but then he didn't get up. People were kind of stopping and trying to talk to him...but he kept lying there. By the time I got to him, the driver of the car was on his cell with 911, and this big guy was trying to get this guy to respond. Picture this: a guy in his mid-40s, greying. Leather jacket. Leather shoes. Dockers. Both hands in his pockets, which made me think that he didn't have a chance to get his hands out in front of him before he fell.

But isn't that a REFLEX? To protect yourself? So I started to think...oh man, this guy must have been wasted drunk in the middle of the afternoon, didn't react fast enough when he fell, he's now hit his head on the curb and is out cold. Like, OUT COLD. We're shaking him, yelling in his ear, checking pulse, etc...no response. He's breathing heavily and I'm looking on his wrists for medical bracelets or anything...then I notice something kind of weird. His pants are kind of undone, or atleast the belt was loose. I didn't really give it much thought; then the ambulance arrived and we stepped back...they checked his neck and decided he was ok to flip onto his back - which is when I saw that I was right, kinda. His belt WAS undone. So was his pants...and his dick was hanging out. No shit.

ok, so let's review. Mid-40s Normal Joe Leather Coat guy trips and falls when drunk, hits his head, gets knocked out. PANTS DOWN, DICK OUT. This wasn't a 'falling out' or a slippage...he was wearing white boxer briefs, and as any guy can attest...there isn't any falling out of those. So this guy was walking with his dick hanging out, hands in both pockets, running for a light, and trips, knocking himself out.

How mortifying. How sad. How thought-provoking. HOW did that guy end up THERE, THEN, THAT day? WHAT happened in the minutes before? WHY WAS HIS DICK OUT?! I've been running though scenarios in my mind since then. It's a serious conundrum to me. I don't fucking get it. Any insight anyone has...dish it.

The second story is short and sweet:

Stereolab, one of my favorite bands of all time, were awesome awesome last night. That band is SO tight and SO controlled...knowing exactly when to break and bend and twist with eachother. Laetita is the ideal frontperson - smooth, confident, funny. I'd like to say the same of Hot Chip's demure on-stage, but they barely said anything. Good thing their music completely slayed, or I would have been a wee bit disappointed. The 10-minute version of "Down With Prince" was the icing on an already hot-as-fuck cake...

I repeat: Hot Chip : Completely Slayed.

Thank you to everyone who helped make my trip superfun. You know who you are. You may or may not be mentioned in a blog below. I don't think my life is so exciting that I'll be blogging as much or excitedly in the coming days...but thanks for the kind words and encouragement from strangers. I like it. I like you.