Too Old.
myspace re-blog #2. stay with me here, people.
in the 1960s, Malcolm X gave a speech decrying comments made by a US Senator about certain outspoken members of the African-American community as being "too black", like coffee, and needed "whitening", as in, to ease having to consume something perhaps, offensive (to the taste - double entendre!)
X's comments were celebrated because the concept of someone being "too black" seemed ridiculous then (and now)...
...but now, I'm going to be the asshole. because there is someone I have to call out for being...TOO OLD.
that's right. My ageism is back.
i for one think that there should be a MAXIMUM driving age (like there is a minimum), just like there should be some way to enforce RETIREMENT, because in the end, people like the man I have a gripe with are simply TOO OLD TO WORK.
case in point (some of you may have heard this before): I work in an office buiiding downtown, and just next door to my office is that of a lawyer who we'll call Paul. Paul is FUCKING OLD. how old? well, WAY past 65. for sure. I'd say....85? maybe 90? the guy should be enjoying his riches on a beach somewhere, chasing some tail and drinking mohitos, not dominating the hallway with his walker while ten people try to get by him.
why do I hate Paul so much? several reasons.
for one, he yells. constantly. all day. and i hear him through the wall, all day, yellling at his poor secretary about this and that, but it never fucking stops! GET A HEARING AID if you can't hear yourself talk, don't YELL all the fucking time.
another, which is the reason which inspired this blog is seriously sick. you might throw up a little. atleast once every 2 weeks I go into the bathroom (a shared bathroom for our floor) and one of the stalls is inexplicably covered in SHIT. no, seriously. SHIT. I can only imagine this crusty old lech getting into the stall, closing the door, dropping his pants and spinning around and around while he shits and pisses freely about the stall, then makes some less-than-half-assed attempt to clean it up, leaving STREAKS OF SHIT everywhere. the walls, the seat, the floor. it's sick.
and today, HE DID IT AGAIN! I can't FUCKING believe this cockrot! WHAT TOPS IT IS THAT THIS IS THE THIRD GODDAMN TIME!!! THREE TIMES!! WHO DOES THAT??!!!
WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO?
WHO thinks its acceptable?
ok maybe once, its an accident, he couldnt get to the bathroom soon enough or something. maybe you're thinking, "eli, lay off. he's old, he's incontinent".
ok, well if you're old to the point of incontinence, RETIRE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRISTMUKKAH RETIRE!!!!!!!
Paul is too old. Someone, please - relate to me. Are you as annoyed at old people as I am? ok maybe it's not ALL old people, but they can't drive, can't shit, and are mean to orphan kittens. I have proof.
in the 1960s, Malcolm X gave a speech decrying comments made by a US Senator about certain outspoken members of the African-American community as being "too black", like coffee, and needed "whitening", as in, to ease having to consume something perhaps, offensive (to the taste - double entendre!)
X's comments were celebrated because the concept of someone being "too black" seemed ridiculous then (and now)...
...but now, I'm going to be the asshole. because there is someone I have to call out for being...TOO OLD.
that's right. My ageism is back.
i for one think that there should be a MAXIMUM driving age (like there is a minimum), just like there should be some way to enforce RETIREMENT, because in the end, people like the man I have a gripe with are simply TOO OLD TO WORK.
case in point (some of you may have heard this before): I work in an office buiiding downtown, and just next door to my office is that of a lawyer who we'll call Paul. Paul is FUCKING OLD. how old? well, WAY past 65. for sure. I'd say....85? maybe 90? the guy should be enjoying his riches on a beach somewhere, chasing some tail and drinking mohitos, not dominating the hallway with his walker while ten people try to get by him.
why do I hate Paul so much? several reasons.
for one, he yells. constantly. all day. and i hear him through the wall, all day, yellling at his poor secretary about this and that, but it never fucking stops! GET A HEARING AID if you can't hear yourself talk, don't YELL all the fucking time.
another, which is the reason which inspired this blog is seriously sick. you might throw up a little. atleast once every 2 weeks I go into the bathroom (a shared bathroom for our floor) and one of the stalls is inexplicably covered in SHIT. no, seriously. SHIT. I can only imagine this crusty old lech getting into the stall, closing the door, dropping his pants and spinning around and around while he shits and pisses freely about the stall, then makes some less-than-half-assed attempt to clean it up, leaving STREAKS OF SHIT everywhere. the walls, the seat, the floor. it's sick.
and today, HE DID IT AGAIN! I can't FUCKING believe this cockrot! WHAT TOPS IT IS THAT THIS IS THE THIRD GODDAMN TIME!!! THREE TIMES!! WHO DOES THAT??!!!
WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO?
WHO thinks its acceptable?
ok maybe once, its an accident, he couldnt get to the bathroom soon enough or something. maybe you're thinking, "eli, lay off. he's old, he's incontinent".
ok, well if you're old to the point of incontinence, RETIRE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRISTMUKKAH RETIRE!!!!!!!
Paul is too old. Someone, please - relate to me. Are you as annoyed at old people as I am? ok maybe it's not ALL old people, but they can't drive, can't shit, and are mean to orphan kittens. I have proof.
posted by Eli at 12:48 PM
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